February 2, 2013  

my heart of hearts

max

max maxmax.alexander  dec.19.2012  9lb.3oz

 

November 6, 2012  

baby balance: kathryn mcguire

I am so excited today to share our first installment of “baby balance”, which comes from one of my oldest friends!  Kathryn is currently pursuing a Masters in Art and Art Education from Columbia, with an emphasis in historical research and museum education.   She has a son, Wyatt, who is almost 2.5 and another little boy on the way due Nov 11th.  Literally any day now!!!  It is so fun to know we’ve gone from being babies together, to having babies at the same time.  Kathryn is one of the first people I went to [with about a billion questions] when I started thinking about having kids.  Her advice totally reassured me, so I hope it is helpful to you all as well!  Enjoy!
1.  You postponed your plans to get your masters at Columbia when you found out you were pregnant with your first.  When did you decide/feel comfortable returning to school once he was born?
I was working full time at the Met and going to graduate school part time when we found out we were pregnant with Wyatt. We had planned on getting married and starting a family relatively young, but on waiting until after I’d finished grad. school, so this was a surprise. I had initially planned on going back to work part time after W was born and taking a year off of grad school, but decided to stay home when my position couldn’t be shifted to allow the decreased hours I’d requested. I went back shortly after Wyatt turned 1 (took a little over a year off), and shifted my degree from a doctorate in education down to a masters, as my tuition was no longer covered through working full time at the Met (a sweet perk).
2.  How do you deal with childcare now that you are a full time student again?
My program is geared towards working professionals, so actually most of my classes are in the evening. We have a regular babysitter who comes and takes care of Wyatt while I’m in class. Tim works late most nights, so Wyatt has come to know and love Ruth as one of the family. She recently graduated undergrad and is in the process of applying to Medical school.
3.  How do you tackle getting work done at home while you are with Wyatt?
We sleep trained Wyatt AGGRESSIVELY after a failed experiment in co-sleeping. He is now a great sleeper and takes a 4-hour nap in the afternoon (knock-on-wood!!!!!), and has done so for almost a year. I use this time to get schoolwork done. When things are overwhelming or I opt to nap/do house work, etc… during that time, I’ll get up early and work before he’s awake in the morning (which means me getting up around 6am- he’s usually up between 7 and 8). I have a strict personal policy where during the day I only read/work for school. At night before bed I read for myself and catch up on all my George RR Martin/Patrick Rothfus novels :) .
4.  Do you plan to return to work once you finish your degree?
I will begin teaching a class Friday evenings at the Met this spring, and hope to finish my degree in May. I am hoping to gradually go back to work and contractually teach in museums throughout the city until it’s time to put new baby in pre-school or something along those lines. I think if the right opportunity came up, I would be willing to go back part time/ full time sooner this time around than I was with Wyatt. I feel like we at least have our feet on the ground as to how to manage a family now.
5.  How do you and your husband make time for yourselves?
When Wyatt was about 6 months old we started having a weekly date night. This was very important to us- to maintain our relationship as husband and wife in addition to that as parents. I think it’s crucial to have the child see the parents enjoy one another’s company. As we get busy date night often falls by the wayside or we would rather just relax at home, so it’s not quite as regular as it used to be, but I would say we still get out at a minimum together once a month. People always comment at how happy we seem when we’re in public, because even making dentist appointments at the same time and getting the sitter can feel like a date. Undivided attention with your sweetheart can never be overrated.
6.  What advice would you give other moms about how to balance work and family?
“Your child is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time.” Keep that in mind when a kid is freaking out or overtired and cranky. It helps ease your mojo so you don’t get frustrated as well. Also tell your husband “happy wife happy life.” Be honest with your partner if you need help or a break, and don’t hold things in passive aggressively. Also encourage your partner to take time and breaks for themselves, too- even if you want them home. They will appreciate the break and reciprocate the favor.
7.  Have you talked to other women who are open about the challenges of motherhood?  Or do you think most try to project the image that they are handling it all easily?
I have a great mommies group and we are all very vocal about every challenge imaginable. I was originally very hesitant to join such a group, but when W was about 2 months old I had serious cabin fever and didn’t know many people in our neighborhood. I got invited to join through an acquaintance who had been in our childbirth class. Now many people have moved and we communicate mostly through email, but it seems every topic that exists has been brought up. I think most women like to commiserate rather than boast, but that that’s just my experience.
8.  What is the best thing about your current work/life/baby balance?
I get to write and do scholarly work while genuinely enjoying time with my toddler and husband. I have no idea how my perspective will change when we’ve got a newborn in a few weeks (days? hours?) and I don’t have that down time in the afternoon, though, so who knows how my tune will change!
9.  What is the worst thing about your current work/life/baby balance?
I miss feeling accomplished professionally- I feel like I still have my foot in the door and will have the opportunity to return soon, but I definitely did love walking into a museum every day.
10.  Name one major thing that has changed about yourself since you became a mother.
I actually feel like I haven’t changed that much personality-wise. I am healthier overall (less cocktail hours), and now have a set routine, whereas I used to be extremely flexible from day to day, but I think that just comes with the territory of navigating a child’s need for normalcy. I curse less, know less about politics, and am an expert in Sesame Street.
October 31, 2012  

spooky architecture

I am still a wimp when it comes to scary movies.  Especially the implausible ones.  Do I have a fear of serial killers coming to get me in the middle of the night?  Psh, no way, what are the chances of that?  It is clearly the ghost that lives in my bathroom mirror that will end me.  I do love Halloween though, and can’t help indulging in a few heart thumping films in preparation.  What really makes a movie scary?  I know for me it’s not the blood and guts type horror flick, but something a little more subtle.  Some of the best scary movies use the atmosphere, setting and music to send shivers up your spine.  Carrie, Halloween, and The Shinning are all great examples that simple can sometimes be better.  Still what exactly did the filmmakers do to make these successful thrillers that would stand the test of time?

According to Rob Ager, The Shining in particular plays with us by skewing our spatial awareness of the film’s architecture.  Doors to no where, overlapping staircases and impossible windows are just some of the design “defects” that Ager points out in this analysis.  He is very adamant that these were not mistakes on the set designers part, but in fact deliberately included by Stanley Kubrick to add to the theme of the movie.  Take a few minutes to explore the maze of the Hotel Overlook through Ager’s eyes.  You might want to curl up with some popcorn and rewatch The Shinning this Halloween to see if you can spot any odd architectural anomalies yourself.

October 29, 2012  

music monday

 

 

liars//the exact color of doubt

Today’s music monday is actually a video from Nowness.com of Stephanie Gilmore.  This is not your normal surf video however.  Set to a new track from the band Liars, this black and white footage portrays the softer side of surfing.  Imagine holding your breath and letting the surf engulf you…that is what this song feels like.

Click me to watch the full video.

PS read the whole description of the shoot.  Who knew Devendra Banhart could surf!?

 

 

 

October 26, 2012  

best beach houses – volcom house

[image from espn.com]

This next house isn’t necessarily a feat of architectural wonder.  As the old adage says, it’s all about “location location location.”  If you are an avid surfer, there is no place that you would rather be than Oahu’s North Shore, directly in front of one of the most famous breaks in the world…Pipeline.  In 2007 Volcom expanded their stake of land here by purchasing a second house next door from their current single story dwelling.  This three story, 3,000 square foot house had more appeal than just it’s fabulous location. It was built by none other than surfing legend Gerry Lopez in the 1970s and is probably one of the most iconic pieces of architecture in surfing history. Volcom’s compound now houses the luckiest of their team riders and crew. Just imagine waking up to this view every morning:

While the original house has a reputation for parties, “Gerry’s” house is more mellow and Volcom seems adamant about keeping the legacy of the home intact.  Check out the video for a quick tour of the main house…and every surfer’s dream residence.

October 26, 2012  

chasing mavericks

Anyone going to see Chasing Mavericks this weekend?  I can’t wait to see if it does this massive wave justice or if it falls flat.  Either way I’m still stoked to see it.  Hey, even hollywood hits like Blue Crush have a soft spot in my heart.

October 24, 2012  

baby balance

When I first found out I was pregnant I was of course ecstatic.  Not too long after, reality hit me and a flood of questions popped into my mind.

What will my life be like as a mother?

How will I juggle work?

Should I be a stay at home mom?

How can I convince the doctor I should still be able to go surfing?

It is almost enough to send you into a frenzy.  Unfortunately it is harder for us ladies to make this transition than our male counterparts.  Sure my husband is going to be super awesome and help me with midnight feedings. Will he take paternity leave or change his job to accommodate our new little one?  No.  And I don’t really think anyone would expect him to.  No wonder the term “supermom” is actually in the dictionary.  When it comes down to it though, I don’t think any woman is capable of “doing it all.”  What does that even mean?  Rather we do the best we can and try to find what works for us.

Since I have been pregnant (and even prior to taking the plunge) I have gotten great guidance from my friends and family about babies, jobs and keeping sane.   I love that each of them have such different backgrounds and situations that have affected their advice…but regardless have made me feel excited and ready for this big change in my life.  It seems that there is no right answer for navigating your first baby (or second, or twins!) but rather that it is a time you should enjoy.  I think if we all realized we can’t be perfect we would see how awesome of a job we are actually doing.  So because these stories have all inspired me in their own unique ways…I would love to do a series of interviews sharing them with you.

Keep an eye out for the first installment of Baby Balance coming soon!

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